RSS

CHANGING OTHERS

02 Dec

410 Change Yourself

It cannot be done!  You cannot change others!

Lately this topic has been coming up in conversation.  In general people have been asking me how they can ‘change’ their partner, parents, children, friends, colleagues and many times how they can change their boss, manager or supervisor AND my answer is always the same, an answer that most don’t like …

“You CANNOT change other people”.

One thing coaching and training has shown me is that people will only listen, learn, grow or change when they themselves genuinely want to and are genuinely ready.  You can, maybe, influence and affect others but to think that you can change someone’s thinking, attitudes, habits, beliefs or behaviors, is usually an exercise in futility and frustration, no matter how ‘right’ you think you, or your message might be.

Instead, look at the person in front of you, accept people the way they are and save yourself from the stress.  Instead of trying to change others, focus on three key areas…

  1. being the best you can be,
  2. leading by example,
  3. getting rid of judgement

And there’s a number 4, make a choice!  Can you change your attitude toward them?  No?  Then walk away. It’s that black and white in my mind.  Either you decide they are worth having around despite any misgivings, decide if you want to make the effort to strengthen the relationship, decide if you are ready to adjust and understand your reactions and expectations.  If not?  Walk away.

Food for thought … and it’s a choice we make!

What do you think?

Check out: Kiwis in China

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 2, 2013 in Daily Dose

 

Tags: , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: