Before reacting, ask yourself a single question “what outcome do you want”?
This is a small question that I now live by and have shared with many others. It has on numerous occasions helped me to take control of my reactions and realize that I myself am accountable for my actions or lack of. A defining lightbulb moment for me. In any given situation this one question can have you:
- Take control.
- Create your actions.
- Become accountable for your choices.
We can all relate to reacting to an event because it screams out for us to do just that, REACT and, just because an event is a catalyst to reactions, it doesn’t mean determines our actions. Instead of reacting to a situation with another, whether it be at work or at home, with a colleague, your partner or your children, focus on the outcome you desire, take control of yourself and your actions and make it happen. Simple? Yes. Easy? No! Why Because it will ultimately mean giving up on things like:
- Your desire to be right (does it really matter)
- Your inner urge to argue (some times just for the hell of it)
- Your innate feelings of indignation (these can run deep)
- Your deep craving for retribution and payback (part of being human).
All seemingly “natural” reactions to events and …. if you want to achieve your desired outcome you will most likely have to let ’em go. Because in most cases, our desired outcome is not to argue or to prove our point, most of the time, our desired outcome is to create a resolution, to maintain a relationship and come out less scared than when we went in to a situation, still on target to achieve our goals.
This simple shift in focus immediately changes the direction of your thinking and your communication and no matter how the other person reacts it moves you from a state of arguing towards a focused state based on what you actually want to achieve in that moment. By focusing on the results you are committed to, you will find yourself consistently moving towards the result you are after and it feels good because you know you are taking a step forward and not backwards, or simply going round and round in circles.
A result is the target you are after. Are you clear on the results you want in your career, your business, your relationships and your life? Get clear, then in any situation ask yourself:
1) What do I really want?
2) What is the outcome I am after?
3) What is the specific result I’m committed to achieve?
Believe me, you will totally notice the difference.