So, who says you’re not confident?
Is it your friends, your family, your classmates, your colleagues? Unlikely!
I bet they are the ones telling you the exact opposite. They are the ones that look to you in awe, because of your confidence. They are the ones who believe you can achieve anything you put your mind to. They are the ones who know you are the one that will fight at their side through thick and thin!
No, my friend, it’s none of the above – it’s YOU!
It’s that little voice that lives in that short six-inch span between your right ear and your left ear that keeps reminding you of your perceived lack of confidence in yourself. Believe me, I know the feeling firsthand and as I coach, speak, train and talk to thousands of women globally in both personal, professional and business development the same theme arises over and over again.
No matter where in the world you are, talk with other highly successful women with a hope of finding pure, raw, flourishing female confidence, only to see that the more closely you look, the more you find instead evidence of its shortage.
Look around, in our jobs and our lives we walk among women whom we assume brim in confidence and yet experience suggests self-doubt exudes from each and every one of them. I so often hear from those who have accomplished so much that ‘they don’t feel like they deserve it’, that they ‘feel like imposters and frauds’ and think it must be ‘pure luck’ that they find themselves in their high-flying roles. And this is not just my personal finding, many global studies show the same research.
Authors of Womenomics and The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman confirmed that as they researched and talked with women globally, all accomplished and credentialed, they kept bumping up against a dark spot that they couldn’t quite identify, a force clearly holding these women back – female self-doubt, a lack of firm belief in their abilities. Sheryl Sandberg author of Lean In, and the movement that ensued recalled, “there are still days I wake up feeling like a fraud, not sure I should be where I am.”
All of us I think would confirm that even among our own circle of friends – on the outside a force to be reckoned with and yet dig a little deeper and instead of finding confidence, courage, and self-belief, we instead find the opposite.
Some say children change our priorities, and I believe there is some truth in this. Our journey in life does call for changes and our maternal instincts definitely, do contribute to a complicated emotional tug between home and work lives. Others point to cultural and institutional barriers to female success and therefore confidence. There’s truth in that, too. And whatever the reason, one thing rings true universally, no matter what culture we find ourselves in, underneath it all, women, each and every one of us to varying degrees have a tendency to lack confidence in ourselves.
My story confirms this finding, being someone who people would say on the outside portrays strength and self-confidence and yet the truth be known, on the inside, struggles with self-worth. The song that expressed me well, that became my “theme song” was a Robbie Williams song that rang so true for me “You think that I’m strong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong”!
And after spending thousands of dollars on my own personal development and working with others to build their confidence to take that next big leap in life, I have the unflappable belief that WE ARE ALL STRONG inside and just need a little help to believe in ourselves – hence the creation of our movement – Quantum Leap for Women to build confidence, expand choices and create change. I have had the wonderful privilege of partnering with strong, successful woman to build their self-esteem and find their true pathway in life. I am passionate about continued self-development and love the many different roles I claim as mum, wife, coach, trainer, mentor, to help others.
So while many experts now believe there is a “confident gene” to support the fact that self-confidence is genetic; I believe real world evidence supports the fact that self-confidence is a skill that we all have a right to, a skill that all can learn. Because success correlates just as closely with confidence as it does with skills and competence. Which means fantastic news! With work and determination, confidence can be acquired, confidence can be built and the confidence gap can be closed both in our heads and in our hearts.
And how motivating is the fact that each and every one of us has the power to change our own self-confidence, change our own self-beliefs, and ultimately create our path to success! What we all want is peace of mind and we can only enjoy peace of mind when we feel confident in our ability to deal with our life to the level of success we are striving for. What we all want, more than anything else is to feel good about ourselves, really feel good about ourselves. So how empowering is it, to know that change is at our fingertips. We are in the driver’s seat. We are in control. We can take action.
So, then, how do you change that little voice in your head telling you every minute of the day that you can’t, that you’re a phony, that you don’t deserve what you have achieved to date, that it’s all just luck?
We challenge it. We give it the opposite to think about. We create new habits. Every Single Day! Because ultimately there’s nothing wrong with you or me – there’s simply a new way of thinking to be developed.
And what difference will it make in your life, what are the tangible benefits that can come from developing your self-confidence?
1. Self-confidence leads to empowerment. By taking chances instead of running away you build up a will to go against all odds and accomplish great things.
2. Self-confidence enables you to be more aware around when you are lacking in confidence, knowing that you open yourself up more to fear, a lack of motivation, greater procrastination, excuses and inactivity.
3. Self-confidence equips you with the ability to challenge yourself, beyond the bare minimum and see and create real change in your life.
And that’s exactly what our “7-Day Jumpstart Your Confidence Challenge” seeks to enlighten you to, your thinking.
From Monday 24, I commit to being your guide for 7 days, so you can create the thinking that builds the confidence you need to take your life to wherever you choose to take it. Because that’s what it’s all about, building your confidence to expand your choices to create the change you desire, in your life, career, business, relationships – any area you choose. Watch this space!